Preparing for Marriage

This week we talked a lot about dating and preparing to take the step of getting married. I really enjoyed this weeks lessons because this is the stage that I am in currently. I really appreciated the "Relationship Attachment Model", In this model we learned that you should first get to know someone. You shouldn't trust anyone more then you know them. You shouldn't rely on anyone more then you trust them, you should not commit to anyone more then you rely on them and you should not be physical with anyone more then you are committed to them. We talked about how when this scale is out of balance it really affects the attachment of the couple and makes it more difficult for things to last. I went on a couple of dates after we discussed this and I really tried to make a conscience effort to keep things in the proper order. I think this probably happens everywhere, but especially at BYU-Idaho I notice that as students we often do things out of order. A couple will kiss, and then decide that they probably should start dating because they can't really just be friends after kissing. This happens more often then you'd think, and it makes total sense why it doesn't generally end up lasting.

Gender and Family Life

We often heard it said that someone that has lesbian or gay tenancies, was "born that way". They can't do anything about it because that is just the way they are. This does not make any sense at all. Why would Heavenly Father put us on this earth with a plan in action and then create some of his children with characteristics that would make it impossible for them to return to live with him? I do not believe that he would do this. The feeling of attraction to the same gender is often created due to a misunderstanding of emotion and feeling. When people feel something they may convince themselves that because they felt it something must be wrong with them and they must be "lesbian" or "gay". No one's eternal plan has that in store for them. The feelings that come due to same gender attraction are real, but they can be controlled. You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control how you react to what happens to you.

Social Class and Cultural Diversity

What is family? We discussed the different definitions that people give family. It is interesting to think about what exactly makes up a family for me. One of the definitions that was given was, a group of people bonded together by blood or by common experience. I like this because I think a lot of times there are people that are not blood related to you that feel and act like family. The best definition of family can be found in "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". We are so blessed to have a wonderful article with guidance. A line I really appreciate from the proclamation is "marriage between man and women is ordained of God, children are entitled to a Father and a Mother." This hit me pretty hard because in the world today people make it seem okay, and even normal to have children with out being married. It doesn't say that it is ideal for children to have a Mother and a Father or that best case scenario, what it says is that children are "entitled". This adds a new level of importance and pressure in my mind. As I prepare to have a family I want to make sure that I am following the proclamation.